This year was one of the most challenging ones yet in my college career. The new variable in the mix was being a resident assistant in my former freshman dorm, Crimont. I wanted to be a Resident Assistant to mentor the first years and really immerse myself back in the campus culture after a year of doing remote classes in Minnesota. The job factors out to be about 20 hours a week, which I initially brushed off thinking a lower course load would balance it out. As it turned out, the job was much more taxing than I could have ever expected. Reflecting on the year, these are the lessons I learned:
Boundaries
In the first few months of being an RA, I noticed the first years on my floor were a little more dependent on me than I could handle. I love giving advice, (I have a whole blog of my unsolicited opinions) but when it came to the random questions knocking on my door at 12 am I knew I had to make my boundaries clear. Learning to create boundaries in a way that wasn’t templated out for me, like a 9-5 job would have built-in business hours, helped me develop healthier boundaries everywhere else in my life. I started enforcing boundaries that I had let deteriorate, like only replying to emails within business hours or saying no to projects I know I don’t have the bandwidth for. Now I feel like I have built a healthier structure to run my days in.
Event Coordination
I’ve also learned how to run with failure. This job requires 6 events to be planned out over the course of the year. Planning events for the first years can be somewhat a hit or a miss. There were several events I got all my residents to attend, and I planned a huge dinner event that had over 50 attendees. However, there were a few duds in the mix. You can imagine sitting through an event by yourself can be quite miserable. In these situations, I had to learn to focus on the positives, like what I learned by planning it out and thinking back to my well-attended events. This helped to remind me that I am capable and attendance does not necessarily reflect on the quality of the event or my work.
Bulletin Board Gallery
I will take a second here to show off my bulletin boards from the year. I definitely got more creative as the year went on 🎨
Self Advocacy
This job was one of a few jobs that had personal check-ins built into the role. With so much time to talk through how the role was going, I learned how to ask for support. I tend to take a leadership role in any group I’m in, and this extra work started to weigh on me as the semesters progressed. My solution to this was to talk through these feelings with my supervisors and mental health staff. This helped me to figure out how to arrange my schedule and prioritize my energy. Sometimes taking a step back is the best solution, and I’ve learned that more this year than any other.
Moving Out
Ultimately, in being an RA for my floor, I’ve learned how to be an RA to myself. RAs provide support, find resources for their residents, and are someone you can confide in. Before this year, I would push myself to unhealthy levels and not use my resources to their fullest extent. Now I seek out those resources and reflect on my situation to find solutions to feel better. When I feel like I’m being stretched too thin, I ask myself, “What would my RA tell me?” Often I find that I give myself great advice.